Still...

Biting my tongue, holding my peace or whatever you want to call it. Anyway, talk is cheap...watch my smoke.

Can't Bite My Tongue

Think I will bite my tongue for a few ticks. I think that's best. :-)

Will soon write my opinion on:

"The State of the Union"..

"Another Bail Out Plan" for big busintss after they paid back the first one just in time to allow them to issue their bonuses...

just plain ole

"WTF!"

and other funky things...

Peace and Love.

Kendall is back!

... And better than ever. I even look better; just a little more hips, butt and thighs, but I look good if I do say so myself.

I've been a little docile for the last 4 or 5 years and my kids - I know that they have been taking advantage of my - change, for lack of a better word. They got away with saying stuff that ordinarily would have gotten them a backhand slap in the mouth. And I rarely say no to anything they ask. Well that's over - for them and for everybody else too. I'm not taking stuff lightly anymore. If you say or do something wrong to me please expect immediate retaliation.

I know my poor kids may be suffering from culture shock today, because last night they got their feeling hurt when I responded to a situation in true - oldskool Kendall fashion. It wasn't the actual situation that I was responding to - it was more their mouthy little smartass responses that set me off. Where before, they were giving me word for word (and I was allowing that shit? Trying to "allow them to voice their opinion"). And now, they are practically grown at 22, 19 and 17, however, I don't give a damn. I am still the mother and when I talk, shut up, I don't wanna hear nothing you got say, all you need to do is listen and keep all those smartass remarks to youself. I had to be really harsh because they wasn't getting it. Well they know now - Mommy is back. And Mommy will always be Mommy no matter how old they get, how many degrees they get or how many kids they have.

They might be "the cat's meow", but Mommy is the damn cat!

I have to add that it was mostly that oldest one who had to get that tongue lashing. The baby - she does exactly what I say and she doesnt talk back to me at all. She wss just upset because she LOVES her sisters, and "felt her pain". She never saw me that mad before either. Poor baby.


The middle child, with all her mouth - was not even involved this time. But the difference is that she is a diplomat and always prefaces her remarks with "Ok mom, but can I say something now?" I I say no, then she 'll just be like " that's not fair" and I will say "I don't care. And that will be that. I catch her making faces at me from time to time though.

But that oldest one - she thinks she is my equal - but she will never be.

My mom is missing this. She always said that she couldn't wait to see how my girls would give me back everything I gave her. I honestly thank GOD that they haven't given me 1/4 of what the mouthiness I gave my mom. She would often say that she should have named me Mouth Almighty.

But, I have a different type of relationship with my daughters than my mom had with me too, so...but I still wish she were here...

New Theme Song

Last year's theme song was Alicia Keys' "Superwoman".

Even when I'm a mess I still put on my best with an "S" on my chest Oh Yes, I'm a Superwoman.

For some of us, even when we don't want to be superwoman, we have be - even when we aren't, we have to pretend to be.

I will ALWAYS be superwoman.

OK, So this year's themes song is Cameo's "Single Life".

I love my mother-daughter discussions. We've always had them, but now that they are older our conversations are more grown up and intriguing. We talk about men/boys relationships, work, sex, drugs, - you name it, we have probably talked about it. I am happy that my daughters feel comfortable talking to me about anything. (Although I sometime find myself blushing because that middle child can come up with some stuff!)

I realized over the weekend that they are genuinely concerned about me being single. So I explained to them that yes, sometimes I get lonely, and yes, I would love to be in a relationship, but right now I am enjoying ME!. I like living alone and I am just really taking this time to get to know Kendall. I don't want to get too set in my ways and sometimes I get afraid and think that if someone doesn't come along and sweep me up pretty soon, I might end up an old lady with cats. lolol.

So, they got me to thinking and I realized that yeah I have probably been running away from relationships. Probably passed up, bypassed and overlooked some pretty good prospects too. But it's all good. I am happy and at peace! I haven't had peace of mind for a long time and I am enjoying it to the utmost.

I still believe in fairytales. Me and my two grown daughters went to see the princess and frog on opening day and loved it!! But I ain't kissing no more frogs hoping to transform them into my prince. My prince better come looking regal, self assured and ready to sweep my off my feet! Matter of fact, I don't even want a prince - I want the KING!

lolololol. If not, ka sera sera.

I will contine to live the single life...

Peace and Love!

Appreciation to an Honest Gay Black Man

In my quest to understand this Down Low "phenomenon" (which, by the way is really nothing new. Men have been on the down low since forever, some of us have just been going through life with our eyes wide shut!)I read this on "The Sraight Up Truth about the Down Low" after I posted a story there. I thank him for his honesty and think this is worth sharing.

Name: A Soul that cares.

WOW! As an Black Man I was hesitant to post any comments at first, but after watching the film "COVER", I feel that it is okay to lend some insight to this forum. I am not involved, with any women sexually, and I do not wear any labels to define my sexuality. I refer to my same sex attractions and behavior as Homo-erotic."I don't want to make this post about me and what the causalities of my behavior stem from. I just want to say that I feel a sigh of relief knowing that women, especially Black women have taken off the blinders with regards to men on the down low.And are now empowering themselves against this covert lifestyle, that their so called life partners, have, burdened them with.

It is just not fair and it, and it just ain't right. Black women have been the driving force that has sustained the Black Family for untold centuries, here in this Western society, and we would not have made it this far without you. My Dear Mothers, sisters daughters, and all females in here that have been dissed and abused by the down low brothers, DON'T TAKE THAT NONSENSE.No not for another second. "You deserve to know the truth, and it will set you free.

These men out here that are carrying on with other men, while hiding behind the illusion of marriage, are the ones that have some very deep and lasting scars and baggage that has nothing to do with you. And the same game that they run on women,just to get some sex or whatever their selfish needs may be, they also perpetrate on the men that they deal with.So never take your confused mans behavior personally or as measure as you worth or desirability as a woman. " God Bless You all" Always have your bags ready in any case scenario.And if need be "Just leave", God will always make a way out of no way for you...If you can trust nothing else, TRUST God and your good common sense. with Love
A native Son.

If you don't stand for something...

You know the rest. "You'll fall for anything."

Sometimes you will stand alone. That's one of the lessons that I've learned this year. And guess what? I learned that I don't mind standing alone, as long as my decision sits well with MY soul - that's all that matters.

Now don't get me wrong, I've fallen for the "okey doke" on more occassions than I care to remember, but thankfully I think I've learned from my past mistakes.

There have been some pretty tempting opportunities presented to me this year. Opportunities that could have sky-rocketed my popularity and my finances. But the opportunities just didn't sit well with my soul.

I've been told that this is my M.O. anyway - to be invited to the king's (or queen's) table and decline the invitation. lol. And more often than not - they get offended that a pion such as I would dare decline their invitation - or worse yet come to the party, but leave midstream.

What they don't realize is that I serve the KING of kings and would rather be a pion in his court, than a queen or princess where his presence is stifled or not apparent. And no matter what, like Maya Angelou...I will still rise...


You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

May Angelou

Breaking up IS hard to do

I've been dating these two guys for about 4 months now. That's a record for me these days. I really like both of them. They both comfort me almost every night, we watch movies together and we spend alot of quality time together.

But this morning while I was getting dressed I realized that they had taken over my hips, thighs and butt! I decided to break of my realationship with Ben AND Jerry! lolololol.

As much as I love them, I gotta break it off. And your friends Hagan Daas, Edy's, Turkey Hill AND Bryers can forget it too!

"Tis the Season to watch what I eat.