How divorce can impact teens

No two teenagers are the same, and no two divorces are identical; thus, divorce can have an impact to teenagers in different ways. Parents who are planning on getting divorced must remember that their child or children could be seriously affected by divorce.

There are teens who show maturity beyond their age and who can handle the problems well, but there are some young people who take the opposite position and behave in upsetting manners. Some teens will have their school grades dropped, even alarmingly. Some will become angry teens and pick fights with others especially any siblings. Some will go off the rails big time and team up with other troubled teens getting into strife with the police. How young people react varies but in some cases it can be extremely harmful to the teenagers.

When parents arrive at the subjects of who will have custody and where the child will live, all sorts of issues come into play. Some parents will try bribing their child to live with them. Remember teens are young adults and, unlike young kids, will be in a position to have a say and make their mark. For some teens, having to choose to live with one parent and leave the other can be a traumatic experience. And if one parent leaves town or the state, the hardship can be greatly magnified.

Kids who love their parents don't want to choose. They don't want to take sides. The parents may have fallen out with each other but this doesn't mean the teen blames either parent. In fact all the teen most likely wants is for the family to stay together and live as they did in happier times.

One of the big tragedies of a divorce is that some parents are so emotional and locked into their own problems that they fail to see the impact the divorce is having on the children. The kids can be left to fend for themselves.

A further distressing problem is that some teens start to feel guilty about their parents breaking up. Teens are old enough to think logically and some will lie awake at night thinking about if or how they caused the marriage of their parents to fail. This is rarely if ever the case but the guilt trip by the teen can be very real.

As hard as it may be, every parent should keep the lines of communication open with their spouse if for no other reason as the welfare of their child. If there is a danger of the divorce causing serious problems for the teen, the parents should agree on a course of action. Taking their child to a counselor who works specifically with troubled teens would be a good place to start.

Parents must understand that during the divorce and after it has become law, life goes on and this includes the wellbeing and protection of the children. The divorce may come and go but the health of your teen remains a vitally important issue.


If you need more information on the effects of divorce, visit our website to find more divorce and separation advice.

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A look at the psychology of bereavement

Bereavement is the state people experience when someone or something they love tremendously, is taken away. Humans, as varied as we are, experience and react to loss differently. Most of the time, the first reaction is crying while for others it is not. It may take a period of months, even years for some to overcome the grief of loss while it does not take as long for others. Dealing with it, which is accepting the fact that you suffered a huge loss is unpleasant and most people live in denial. Over time, people do manage to overcome the pain and grief of loss. However, it takes time. Researchers say one person's reaction to loss may not be similar to the other person's as it depends on the individual's personality, family, culture, and spiritual and religious beliefs and practices. A popular theory is the Kübler-Ross model, where Elisabeth Kübler-Ross describes five stages of grief which are most common.
The stages are: *
1. Denial.
2. Anger.
3. Bargaining.
4. Depression.
5. Acceptance.
These aforementioned reactions do affect a person's behavior and well-being. Commonly bereavement affects us with:
* Sleeplessness.
* Appetite Loss.
* Restlessness.
* Exertion.
* Preoccupation.
* Anxiousness and panic.
* Inability to resume normal duties.
* Lack of interest.
* Irritability.
* Tearfulness.
* Physical side-effects.

Individuals suffer different types of loss. They are: childhood bereavement, death of a child(considered by most to be the most devastatingly painful form of bereavement), death of a spouse, death of a parent, death of a sibling (as the saying goes, "if you have lost your parents, you have lost your past; if you have lost your children, you have lost your future; if you have lost your spouse, you have lost your present; and if you have lost your sibling, then you have lost a part of your past, present and future"), loss of children through divorce or kidnapping and other losses (examples include the end of a romantic relationship (i.e. divorce or break up), a vocation, a pet (animal loss), a home, children leaving home (empty nest), a friend, a favored appointment or desire, etc).

Recovery is possible through patience and many ways of coping. Such as :
* Asking for help. First, accept that you are hurt and need help.
* Discuss it with someone responsible and helpful. Find someone trustful, a parent, a sibling,a professional, a pet or even God.
* Use art to express feelings. Very cathartic and helpful.
* Maintain some pleasant mementos of the person or thing you lost.
* Exercise. A great way to release pent up anger.
* Listen to music. Any kind of music as long as it calms you.
* Take care. Don't seek escapism that will be even more detrimental to your well-being, like drugs or alcohol. Instead, fuss over yourself and treat yourself well.
* Trust your own self. Accept and trust your feelings knowing that it is alright to feel so. * Take time to heal. * Enjoy each moment. Be grateful for being alive and surviving grief. Talk to family, someone close or even professional help but do take help. Finally, remember and acknowledge that you have gone through immense loss and with time, the scars will go but more important than that is realizing that time alone is no good, you have to make an effort to move on as a survivor a fighter.

Article Source : http://www.article-content-king.com

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