Appreciation to an Honest Gay Black Man

In my quest to understand this Down Low "phenomenon" (which, by the way is really nothing new. Men have been on the down low since forever, some of us have just been going through life with our eyes wide shut!)I read this on "The Sraight Up Truth about the Down Low" after I posted a story there. I thank him for his honesty and think this is worth sharing.

Name: A Soul that cares.

WOW! As an Black Man I was hesitant to post any comments at first, but after watching the film "COVER", I feel that it is okay to lend some insight to this forum. I am not involved, with any women sexually, and I do not wear any labels to define my sexuality. I refer to my same sex attractions and behavior as Homo-erotic."I don't want to make this post about me and what the causalities of my behavior stem from. I just want to say that I feel a sigh of relief knowing that women, especially Black women have taken off the blinders with regards to men on the down low.And are now empowering themselves against this covert lifestyle, that their so called life partners, have, burdened them with.

It is just not fair and it, and it just ain't right. Black women have been the driving force that has sustained the Black Family for untold centuries, here in this Western society, and we would not have made it this far without you. My Dear Mothers, sisters daughters, and all females in here that have been dissed and abused by the down low brothers, DON'T TAKE THAT NONSENSE.No not for another second. "You deserve to know the truth, and it will set you free.

These men out here that are carrying on with other men, while hiding behind the illusion of marriage, are the ones that have some very deep and lasting scars and baggage that has nothing to do with you. And the same game that they run on women,just to get some sex or whatever their selfish needs may be, they also perpetrate on the men that they deal with.So never take your confused mans behavior personally or as measure as you worth or desirability as a woman. " God Bless You all" Always have your bags ready in any case scenario.And if need be "Just leave", God will always make a way out of no way for you...If you can trust nothing else, TRUST God and your good common sense. with Love
A native Son.

If you don't stand for something...

You know the rest. "You'll fall for anything."

Sometimes you will stand alone. That's one of the lessons that I've learned this year. And guess what? I learned that I don't mind standing alone, as long as my decision sits well with MY soul - that's all that matters.

Now don't get me wrong, I've fallen for the "okey doke" on more occassions than I care to remember, but thankfully I think I've learned from my past mistakes.

There have been some pretty tempting opportunities presented to me this year. Opportunities that could have sky-rocketed my popularity and my finances. But the opportunities just didn't sit well with my soul.

I've been told that this is my M.O. anyway - to be invited to the king's (or queen's) table and decline the invitation. lol. And more often than not - they get offended that a pion such as I would dare decline their invitation - or worse yet come to the party, but leave midstream.

What they don't realize is that I serve the KING of kings and would rather be a pion in his court, than a queen or princess where his presence is stifled or not apparent. And no matter what, like Maya Angelou...I will still rise...


You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

May Angelou

Breaking up IS hard to do

I've been dating these two guys for about 4 months now. That's a record for me these days. I really like both of them. They both comfort me almost every night, we watch movies together and we spend alot of quality time together.

But this morning while I was getting dressed I realized that they had taken over my hips, thighs and butt! I decided to break of my realationship with Ben AND Jerry! lolololol.

As much as I love them, I gotta break it off. And your friends Hagan Daas, Edy's, Turkey Hill AND Bryers can forget it too!

"Tis the Season to watch what I eat.

KEEP DOING THE SAME THING YOU GET THE SAME RESULT

I keep seeing city officials establish "commissions" and "committees" for various things - and you see the same people in the mix - and you are getting the same results - NOTHING.

Now they have this comission or whatever to create jobs in Philadelphia because the "President is bringing people together in Washington to talk, but we need jobs right here". Yeah, we been needing jobs here since way before this current so-called "recession". So, what if the President didn't make the call for a group to come together, because it is now a national crises? It has always been a local crisis right here in Philly. And they have the same old people on these commissions saying the same old thing they been saying for the last 30 years. Then they will all agree that "we need to do a study" so they find money to pay some of their friends to do a study to find out what we already know. It is a viscious cycle - a circus if you will.

Cecil B. Morre would be appalled at what little progress has been made after all his hard work. He, Leon Sullivan and David P. Richardson.

Stevie Wonder said it best:

"You Haven't Done Nothing"

We are amazed but not amused
By all the things you say that you'll do
Though much concerned but not involved
With decisions that are made by you

But we are sick and tired of hearing your song
Telling how you are gonna change right from wrong
'Cause if you really want to hear our views
"You haven't done nothing"!

It's not too cool to be ridiculed
But you brought this upon yourself
The world is tired of pacifiers
We want the truth and nothing else

And we are sick and tired of hearing your song
Telling how you are gonna change right from wrong
'Cause if you really want to hear our views
"You haven't done nothing"!

We would not care to wake up to the nightmare
That's becoming real life
But when mislead who knows a person's mind
Can turn as cold as ice un hum

Why do you keep on making us hear your song
Telling us how you are changing right from wrong
'Cause if you really want to hear our views
"You haven't done nothing"!
Yeah

THANKFUL FOR FORGIVENESS

Forgiving people has been soothing for me. Whether I am forgiving them for something they actually did or said to me or for something that I thought they did or said (smile) - it has given me a comfort that I can't describe.

But forgiving someone doesn't mean that you have re-establish a relationship or that you even have to talk to them. You don't have to subject yourself to those same people that have hurt you because chances are that although you may have changed - they haven't. I wouldn't put myself in any position that may open old wounds. I am glad to know that my heart has forgiven and that I will move on and live my life.

As this Thanksgiving approaches, my feelings are bittersweet. Things will never be as they were in the past, but the future looks bright and I am blessed to have been invited several places for Thanksgiving Dinner.

So Happy Thanksgiving to All Of You and if you haven't yet -
Forgive Somebody.

Michael Jackson is STILL The Man!

On Saturday as I entered into a crowded Produce Store - I mean so crowded that the check out line started almost at the door where you enter. Very little room to move around and pick up items that I came for - then on the radio youhear the melody of "You Wanna Be Startin' Somethin" by Michael Jackson. The funniest thing happened - almost EVERYBODY stopped in their tracks and started singing! Some started dancing! I was cracking up laughing! One older lady put it all in a nutshell - "Michael Jackson still bringing unity."

Rest In Peace Michael Jackson!

My Roots

"Only Faith can guarantee the blessings that we hope for, or prove the existence of the realities that, at present, remain unseen. It was for faith that our ancestors were commended."
Hebrews 11:1 The Jerusalem Bible, Reader's Edition

Wow. I have known that I had some pretty interesting family roots. But guess what? Most of what I've learned in the last four years can be attributed to Mr. Noah Lewis who portrays and is now in the process of writing an autobiography on Ned Hector, who is one of my ancestors! He was interested enough in my family's history to bring it to life. For that I thank him! Here is just some of what I've learned from him

Ned Hector Free Black Colonial Soldier, Wagoneer, Respected Patriot, Hero. Hectors Street in Conshohocken is named after him.

Leah (Fisher) Hector - Widow of Albanus Fisher Sr. Remarried son of Ned Hector. Became a widow for a second time. Owned a store and several properties in the Norristown and Conshohocken areas.. She grew her own herbs and specialized in herbal remedies. She lived to be 113 years old.

Albanus C. Fisher
Son of Leah Fisher. Served in the 54th Massachusetts Volunteer Infantry Regiment, This is the Black Volunteer Regiment depicted in the Movie GLORY. There are copies of handwritten letters that he wrote in the Gettysburg College Museum.

Ambrose C. Fisher
My great-grandfather. He was politically active and a registered republican. He worked as a janitor for the Norristown High School for many years before his retirement.
I remember he walked with a limp. My grandmother said he only had half a foot, but I don't remember what happened.

Catherine Fisher-Massey
My grandmother. The oldest of 5 sisters and 3 brothers born to Ambrose C. and Leah Fisher (Mom-mom and Pop-pop) In 1978, she and her siblings started the "Fisher Sunshine Club" in memory of their parents. The groups mission was to organize family events and trips. I remember all family members wearing red t-shirts that read "Body by Fisher". I didn't know what that meant, but I remember that we weren't allowed to use that slogan. So from then on we just wore red t-shirts. They also started a scholarship fund for students at the Norristown High School in memory of their father, Ambrose C. Fisher.

I'm am excited because I talked to Noah today and he has even MORE DETAILED INFORMATION to share with me!!!!!!

Stay tuned....

Peace and Love.