Remembering Donna

Girl, I still reach for the phone to call you...
then I remember, damn, she's gone too.
So much for us to discuss, time was much too short.

You tried to keep your suffering a secret from me,
and I allowed you to because of my own selfish reasons.
I couldn't bear to watch you die.

But everytime I called, your spirits were high,
and I could always make you laugh.

The last time we talked, you were weak and our conversation short.
When I mentioned that in a few weeks I would have been married for 18 years, March 18th
You reminded me that my marriage was dead.
Then you drove your point home when you died on March 18th.

I miss you - sharing your experiences and intuition
Giving clues of things you knew, but couldn't actually prove
Trying to tell me what I didn't want to know.
Now I know what you knew
And Yes, it's all true.

Girl, I miss you. I can't call nobody else when I wake up a 3am and can't go back to sleep.
Nobody else is gonna talk me back to sleep at that time of morning...Except maybe Big Steve. (Imagine that! LOL! He just a Big Ole Gentle Giant!)

I know you kept promising to go to church with me,
Going to church can't save you; like we always said,
more devils live in the church than saints
("You ain't never lied")

But your personal relationship with God was in tact
In the end, that's all that really matters.

I'm glad your suffering is over. I'm glad for having enjoyed the privilege of having you as a friend.

Alone Time Is Good...Sometimes

I want to be clear about this. I am enjoying this period in my life, but ladies and gentlemen, being alone is not always great. Most of my friends are married, and while I am grateful that my friends Reed and Marion invited me to hang out with them on Valentine's day, I realized that it might be time for me to get my own man.

I ask my male friends what's wrong with me - why can't I get (and keep) a man. The answers vary:

"You haven't met the right one."
"You're not ready."
"Cause you are mean."
"Cause you're crazy."
And my favorite:
"You don't need a man. Men like damsel's in distress, men need to be needed."

I don't know any damsel who has been more distressed than me!!! I just don't look or act like it I guess. I'm not supposed to.

I want a man like Neyo, one who is not intimidated by a women who "looks, walks and talks like the boss" There is nothing more valuable than a woman who knows that all of her needs will be supplied by her creator...Ok...including my man.

Peace and Love

Politics

I hate politics. I experienced the guts and gore of it up close and personal and I don't like politics, but I do follow the news.

So, I just have to say that I think Seth Williams shot himself in the foot when he went on a witch hunt for Curtis Jones. What was that about? I read in the Public Record that Local 332 and the West Oak Lane Political group are both endorsing Dan McCaffery. I don't even know who he is.

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Michael Nutter...I don't understand his methods.

Well...maybe he's just a politician. He is looking out for those who provided him with the most financial support.

That's all I'm gonna say about politics.

Peace and Love.

Run Rhianna Run!!!

I'm sure that this highly publicized display of domestic violence was not the first encounter for this young woman, and rest assured it will not be the last. Statistics show that once an abuser abuses you and you accept that behavior by allowing him (or her) back into your life, (and after only 3 weeks?!?!) he (or she)will abuse you again. I know. You can't help who you love. But can we, as women love ourselves first and foremost?

As the mother of two teenage daughters and one young adult daughter; a product of domestic violence myself, this is something that I must speak out about. The cycle of domestic violence in my family is broken; it ends with me. I understand what it means to love someone and to do everything in your power to make a relationship work, (especially if you have children, a house, a business, etc.) but after a while you wake and look at yourself and realize that you don't deserve to be treated that way. And what about your children? We don't realize that they are witnessing everything that's going on, and that it is very traumatizing to witness your mother being abused.

While I taught my daughters to love and respect their father, I have shown them that they DO NOT EVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES have to put with any type of abuse. This is a global issue and too many females are accepting this behavior as if it is normal. IT IT NOT NORMAL OR ACCEPTABLE FOR SOMEONE TO BEAT YOU UP PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY OR EMOTIONALLY.

Tids and Bits

IS IT ME OR...

Did President Obama go through at least 2 non-functional pens as he attempted to sign the stimulus bill?
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I MIGHT BE BIASED BUT...

I am in complete agreement with the Honorable Craig Washington's decision to remove the picture of the slain officer from the bench. It had no place on the bench and he didn't remove it from you courtroom, but from his bench. He did his duty.

I might be biased because Craig Washington has been a familiar face and a pillar in my community for a loonnng time.
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I am saddened to hear that three major neighborhood newspapers are no longer in existence.
The Leader, Mount Airy Times Express and the Germantown Courier are no more. However, there's a great opportunity for the Northwest to come together, combine their resources and start a whole new paper to service the entire area.
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Chris Brown has lost the respect of my daughters. I don't care what happened, his reaction is unjustified. Any man who puts his hands on any woman isn't a man at all. He is a punk-behind coward with some serious issues. Domestic Violence in any shape or form is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE!!!

Valentine's Day Provokes Self Examination

The funniest rumor that I heard about me was that I had gotten married. That is hilarious considering that I haven't even had a real boyfriend!

I really haven't even had much of a heart for the last 4 years. After my mom died, I literally felt my heart break. I never knew what it meant when somebody said they were heartbroken until then. I think the only people who I really can say that I loved during that time were my children. Anybody else was just ... there. After the heart break subsided, and my divorce finalized, my heart then turned to stone. I never really thought about it, it just became a way of life for me until around November of last year when my daughter asked me if I thought I would ever fall in love. My response of course was "what's love got to do with it?" and I advised her not to put too much emphasis on it. Her response was "Well, G-mom loved everybody, no matter what." My response: "I'm not G-mom." But she had made her point and planted the seed in my mind.

My mother and my grandmother really did love everybody that they knew - regardless of race, religion, social status, income, mental capacity, etc. For the life of me, I couldn't understand why they put up with some of the people that they put up with, and often asked them. Because I don't remember their answers, it probably didn't make sense to me and so I just dismissed it.

Since my daughter's question, I've read different books about the subject of love and the different types of love. I snapped back to reality and am thankful for God's love for me because without it I am nothing. I also came to realized that I really do love my relatives and my closest friends. Most importantly, I LOVE ME!!!

Then I joined Enon and you know how you have to go to discipleship classes before you receive the right hand of fellowship - well, the first lesson touched on the three types of love, and our last lesson went in depth on the subject. So I figure,maybe it's time for me to be open to another type of love.

Now, everywhere I look and listen, people are talking about love. At church, the scripture reading was 1Chorinthians 12-13. I listen to the radio and everybody's playing love songs. Everybody's got a Valentine's day special or sale.

I have never been one to put much emphasis on man-made holidays, and this Valentine's Day is no exception. But all of the talk and commercials have made me re-evaluate my position. Although I am alone, I'm not lonely (for the most part). I believe that love is something that happens over a period of time, after you really get to know a person. I know I am not at the point to love someone totally unconditionally because I'm not God.

I do know that I was created to love and to be loved, but not to settle for anything less than I desire or deserve. So I made a list of characteristics that I want in potential mates and I don't think that they are unreasonable. We'll see. Not that I'm looking to "fall in love", I honestly don't believe in that.

Wish me luck!

I'll keep you posted.

Peace and Love.

The American Dream

My mother and I loved to debate each other's opinions and I was usually swayed to her point of view. However, while she firmly believed that blacks were much better off than they were "in her day and time", I, rebel that I am, firmly disagreed, stating that her perception was just an illusion. (She fondly referred to me as the "Rebel without a cause.)

While going through yet another box of memorabilia, I came across this book that I bought back in the late 90's: America: Who Stole the Dream? by Philadelphia Inquirer Reporters Donald L. Barlett and James B. Steele.

"LET'S SUPPOSE, for a moment, that there was a country where the people in charge charted a course that eliminated millions of good jobs.

Suppose they gave away several million more jobs to people from other nations.

Finally, imagine that the people running this country implemented economic policies that enabled those at the very top to grow ever richer while most others grew poorer.

You wouldn't want to live in such a place, would you?

Too bad.

You already do."

Not surprisingly, the facts and statistics outlined in this book, which was written around 1996, are true today. Two areas that I distinctly remember reading about are financial ethics (wall street) and immigration. Warnings of the effects of America's activities during that time, have come to fruition.

How far have we really come?