Someone recently described me as "complicated and arrogant". Thing is, I could understand them saying that I'm complicated, because to most people I am. To know me is to love me. But "arrogant"? I have never considered myself to be that. So, I took a poll.
My girlfriends view me as confident not arrogant. My male friends view me as crazy, confusing, complicated and arrogant...lol but they still love me, they just would never date me or consider having a serious relationship with me. wow! (I suspect that that's not true. I bet if I gave them 1/2 a chance they would jump at the opportunity)
Anyway...
The cheese stands alone.
So, my best friend, who is a male made up a word that he feels best describes me...Crarrogant! He combined crazy, confident and arrogant and reminded me that there is a thin line between confidence and arrogance. In his words: "Confidence helps build character and self esteem; arrogance is like having a bad rash, it makes everybody want to run the opposite direction. There is a thin line between the two, so let your conscience be your guide!"
Thanks Jimminy Cricket!
Peace and Love People
AND DON'T BUY BP GASOLINE!
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
'Tis the Season
The political season.
Have I said lately how much I absolutely HATE politics and politicking?
Recently I heard a speaker say that "if you are a truthful person, you would never go into politics because politics and truth simply do not coexist". You don't necessarily have to be a politician to play politics. The fact of the matter is that in this society, politics and business go hand in hand, with one hand always washing the other. Same people.
One thing I've learned in life is to be very careful of what you accept from people. Whether it be a job, jewelry, car, phone...anything. 9 times out of 10 there is some type of string attached - something that will be expected from you to express your "gratitude" for "everything that someone has done for you or given you". This is magnified 10 times in the world of politics and business. The old saying "selling your soul to the devil" comes to mind.
Now, I am not saying that being grateful for assistance is something you shouldn't do. However, you should remain mindful of the type of person who is bestowing gifts and privileges upon you, and their motives for doing so. Be mindful not to sell your soul to the devil for some ole materialistic bullshit. It ain't worth it. You can't put a pricetag on your soul, your dignity, your self respect or your peace of mind
Just a thought to all my political people and those in pursuit of the next business opportunity. When you lay down with dogs, most likely you will get up with fleas.
Politics - it's a dirty slimy game, but I guess somebody has to play it.
Peace and Love.
Have I said lately how much I absolutely HATE politics and politicking?
Recently I heard a speaker say that "if you are a truthful person, you would never go into politics because politics and truth simply do not coexist". You don't necessarily have to be a politician to play politics. The fact of the matter is that in this society, politics and business go hand in hand, with one hand always washing the other. Same people.
One thing I've learned in life is to be very careful of what you accept from people. Whether it be a job, jewelry, car, phone...anything. 9 times out of 10 there is some type of string attached - something that will be expected from you to express your "gratitude" for "everything that someone has done for you or given you". This is magnified 10 times in the world of politics and business. The old saying "selling your soul to the devil" comes to mind.
Now, I am not saying that being grateful for assistance is something you shouldn't do. However, you should remain mindful of the type of person who is bestowing gifts and privileges upon you, and their motives for doing so. Be mindful not to sell your soul to the devil for some ole materialistic bullshit. It ain't worth it. You can't put a pricetag on your soul, your dignity, your self respect or your peace of mind
Just a thought to all my political people and those in pursuit of the next business opportunity. When you lay down with dogs, most likely you will get up with fleas.
Politics - it's a dirty slimy game, but I guess somebody has to play it.
Peace and Love.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
What's in a name?
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet." - Juliet Montague
OK. so if you know me, then you know I like Shakespeare. And if you had Mrs. Kohl as your English teacher for 4 years, then you would understand why. If you really really know me, then you would know that my oldest daughter, Portia, was named for the heroine in Shakespeare's Merchant of Venice. and not after the motor vehicle.
A few weeks ago she informed me that I would have to give her an African name during the "Ceremony of the Drums" as she completed her course work for a degree in African American studies at Temple University. I was so excited. As I began my research, I came upon the name Chinedu, which means "God leads". I said, that fits my Porty Pooh.
Portia started out majoring in Early childhood Education with an emphasis on bi-lingual (Spanish) studies. This decision lead her on a journey to Spain and Costa Rica. During that time, I emphasized to her that she is black, and while she can go traveling and galavanting around the world, her responsibility should be to her own community because to whom much is given much is required. One thing I can tell you about all my daughters is that once they make up their mind to do something, that's it. Pretty much like their mom. So for the most part I didn't try to talk them out of anything, but I just "say my piece" and let it sink in. However there are times, even now that they are "grown" when I just have to say "no, you're not doing that". Period. Parenting is a never ending job.
Le me add that once Portia came back from her adventure, she went right back to SANKOFA at Canaan Baptist Church...where I had planted her in the first place...to work with the childen in her community. I had just helped Cannan re-establish the afterschool program there and all the time in the back of my mind, I had Portia in mind. Because she was majoring in early childhood education, I thought this was a perfect fit.
Last year, during her junior year, when she informed me that she changed her major to African American studies, I just said "OK". But in my mind I was thinking "what the hell?" What kinda job is she gonna get with a degree in that?" But, she was excited and enjoyed the course. I would say things from time to time like "Hospitality and Tourism are gonna be big and you love planning events" hint hint. She would just let me know, in a very diplomatic and respectful manner, that she had her mind made up and she knew what she was doing.
Proved it last night.
Last night, as we participated in the "Ceremony of the Drums" I felt a sense of pride that I've never known.
The funniest thing was when the keynote speaker, Dr. Anthony Monteiro said that these students were courageous and he understood, because his parents and siblings asked him "Why he was majoring in "that"? He said, they couldn't even say "African American Studies" they just said "that". So he began to break it down and even went into the gentrification process taking place in the neighborhood of that very University.
So, my oldest daughter, "Chinedu" - God Leads...transitions into a new chapter of her life and I, her biggest cheerleader will continue to be on the sidelines cheering. Even when I don't fully understand what she is doing or why she is doing it, I will rest in the knowledge that God is leading her.
Peace and Love.
By any other name would smell as sweet." - Juliet Montague
OK. so if you know me, then you know I like Shakespeare. And if you had Mrs. Kohl as your English teacher for 4 years, then you would understand why. If you really really know me, then you would know that my oldest daughter, Portia, was named for the heroine in Shakespeare's Merchant of Venice. and not after the motor vehicle.
A few weeks ago she informed me that I would have to give her an African name during the "Ceremony of the Drums" as she completed her course work for a degree in African American studies at Temple University. I was so excited. As I began my research, I came upon the name Chinedu, which means "God leads". I said, that fits my Porty Pooh.
Portia started out majoring in Early childhood Education with an emphasis on bi-lingual (Spanish) studies. This decision lead her on a journey to Spain and Costa Rica. During that time, I emphasized to her that she is black, and while she can go traveling and galavanting around the world, her responsibility should be to her own community because to whom much is given much is required. One thing I can tell you about all my daughters is that once they make up their mind to do something, that's it. Pretty much like their mom. So for the most part I didn't try to talk them out of anything, but I just "say my piece" and let it sink in. However there are times, even now that they are "grown" when I just have to say "no, you're not doing that". Period. Parenting is a never ending job.
Le me add that once Portia came back from her adventure, she went right back to SANKOFA at Canaan Baptist Church...where I had planted her in the first place...to work with the childen in her community. I had just helped Cannan re-establish the afterschool program there and all the time in the back of my mind, I had Portia in mind. Because she was majoring in early childhood education, I thought this was a perfect fit.
Last year, during her junior year, when she informed me that she changed her major to African American studies, I just said "OK". But in my mind I was thinking "what the hell?" What kinda job is she gonna get with a degree in that?" But, she was excited and enjoyed the course. I would say things from time to time like "Hospitality and Tourism are gonna be big and you love planning events" hint hint. She would just let me know, in a very diplomatic and respectful manner, that she had her mind made up and she knew what she was doing.
Proved it last night.
Last night, as we participated in the "Ceremony of the Drums" I felt a sense of pride that I've never known.
The funniest thing was when the keynote speaker, Dr. Anthony Monteiro said that these students were courageous and he understood, because his parents and siblings asked him "Why he was majoring in "that"? He said, they couldn't even say "African American Studies" they just said "that". So he began to break it down and even went into the gentrification process taking place in the neighborhood of that very University.
So, my oldest daughter, "Chinedu" - God Leads...transitions into a new chapter of her life and I, her biggest cheerleader will continue to be on the sidelines cheering. Even when I don't fully understand what she is doing or why she is doing it, I will rest in the knowledge that God is leading her.
Peace and Love.
Friday, May 7, 2010
CELEBRATING MY MOMMY
I sure am missing her as I should be...after all, it is Mother's Day weekend.
A mother-daughter relationship can be very complicated. There may be times when you disagree, argue, get mad at each other, etc. But when push comes to shove, there is no human love like a mother's love...NONE. Not even daddy's love compares to a mommy's love. A mother's love is special.
As this mother's day approaches and I see all the hoopla about the Susan G. Komen "Race for the Cure", I am really missing her. For as long as this race took place in Philly, I would get up at 4am on Mother's Day (whining and complaining) to support my mother's team to raise money and walk for the cure. I hated getting up at 4am on mother's day, but I always did anyway. As I got older, I did what my mother told me most of the time...more than I did when I was younger. I realized later in life that more often than not, she was right about most things. And after all my whining and complaining every year, once we got down to the Parkway/Art Museum, we always had a ball.
After my mother passed, (even though she didn't die from breast cancer, I will never know what really killed her because they lied and told me that the autopsy was done, then, the day after we buried her, they tell me - with smugness - that there is no qutopsy because they told the hospital not to do one...so they just flat out lied to me and threw it up in my face -- a whole nother story...anyway) we asked friends and family to send donations to the foundation in her name, because everyone knew that was her pet project. At the time of her death, she was a 19 year survivor.
That following May, I get my mother's mail from the Susan G. Komen foundation, and they are asking her where she'd been; they hadn't heard from her and was looking for her support again that year. I called and told them that she had passed, and I wanted an accounting for all of the money she had raised for them over the past 15 years. They transferred me all over the world and finally told me that they do not keep an accounting of how much money teams or individuals raise. Hmmm.
So with raised eyebrows, I did a little investigating, only to find that 90% of the billions of dollars raised by the foundation go to administrative costs. ONLY about 3% of those billions of dollars actually go to research!!!!
So as you all get all hyped up about the "Race for the Cure" this Sunday, keep that in mind. Also keep in mind that black women STILL die from this disease at a rate of 75% more than white women. Keep in mind that we STILL don't have the resources needed for early detection and prevention in our communities.
Now, all that said, if my mom were here, I would be ecstatic to join her and my aunt at 4am this Sunday morning...
A mother-daughter relationship can be very complicated. There may be times when you disagree, argue, get mad at each other, etc. But when push comes to shove, there is no human love like a mother's love...NONE. Not even daddy's love compares to a mommy's love. A mother's love is special.
As this mother's day approaches and I see all the hoopla about the Susan G. Komen "Race for the Cure", I am really missing her. For as long as this race took place in Philly, I would get up at 4am on Mother's Day (whining and complaining) to support my mother's team to raise money and walk for the cure. I hated getting up at 4am on mother's day, but I always did anyway. As I got older, I did what my mother told me most of the time...more than I did when I was younger. I realized later in life that more often than not, she was right about most things. And after all my whining and complaining every year, once we got down to the Parkway/Art Museum, we always had a ball.
After my mother passed, (even though she didn't die from breast cancer, I will never know what really killed her because they lied and told me that the autopsy was done, then, the day after we buried her, they tell me - with smugness - that there is no qutopsy because they told the hospital not to do one...so they just flat out lied to me and threw it up in my face -- a whole nother story...anyway) we asked friends and family to send donations to the foundation in her name, because everyone knew that was her pet project. At the time of her death, she was a 19 year survivor.
That following May, I get my mother's mail from the Susan G. Komen foundation, and they are asking her where she'd been; they hadn't heard from her and was looking for her support again that year. I called and told them that she had passed, and I wanted an accounting for all of the money she had raised for them over the past 15 years. They transferred me all over the world and finally told me that they do not keep an accounting of how much money teams or individuals raise. Hmmm.
So with raised eyebrows, I did a little investigating, only to find that 90% of the billions of dollars raised by the foundation go to administrative costs. ONLY about 3% of those billions of dollars actually go to research!!!!
So as you all get all hyped up about the "Race for the Cure" this Sunday, keep that in mind. Also keep in mind that black women STILL die from this disease at a rate of 75% more than white women. Keep in mind that we STILL don't have the resources needed for early detection and prevention in our communities.
Now, all that said, if my mom were here, I would be ecstatic to join her and my aunt at 4am this Sunday morning...
Thursday, May 6, 2010
WE ...ARE... SUPERWOMAN
Theme Songs:
Every super shero needs one!
I've had several over the past few years and one constant is Superwoman. I really am Superwoman, even when I'm a mess, I still put on my best with an "S" on my chest, OH YES, I'm a superwoman! Now and forever! It takes a REALLY STRONG woman to be a Superwoman. And it ain't easy being a Superwoman either...not very many men can deal with us...but it will help us to separate the boys from the men.
A real man will "Take me as I am" as my girl Mary J sings.
Fellas, "If you ain't got one better search the world to find...
A grown woman knows how to tell you no and knows when to let you go.
To all my fellow Superwomen - I love you girl!
No matter what we've been through, WE STILL STAND...STRONGER AND WISER!
Every super shero needs one!
I've had several over the past few years and one constant is Superwoman. I really am Superwoman, even when I'm a mess, I still put on my best with an "S" on my chest, OH YES, I'm a superwoman! Now and forever! It takes a REALLY STRONG woman to be a Superwoman. And it ain't easy being a Superwoman either...not very many men can deal with us...but it will help us to separate the boys from the men.
A real man will "Take me as I am" as my girl Mary J sings.
Fellas, "If you ain't got one better search the world to find...
A grown woman knows how to tell you no and knows when to let you go.
To all my fellow Superwomen - I love you girl!
No matter what we've been through, WE STILL STAND...STRONGER AND WISER!
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